Do not touch him.

Think about touching him,
but only when you can't help it,
and think about
not touching him,
but not what it means
that it is, and is not,
always on your mind.

You can't have it and you
don't want it
even if you could.

You don't want it.

You don't
touch him and
you won't
mourn the life you could have had
when he is gone
because there is no life you could
have wanted
but the one you had,
the one where
your skin was always
just shy
of his.